Postcoital Dysphoria Sex Blues
POSTCOITAL DYSPHORIA, also known as post sex blues, is a phenomenon characterized by feelings of sadness, anxiety, or irritability following sexual intercourse, despite experiencing pleasure during the act.
POSTCOITAL DYSPHORIA
FEELING ANXIETY & SADNESS AFTER SEX
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Postcoital dysphoria (PCD) refers to the experience of negative emotions that can arise after sexual activity. These emotions may include feelings of sadness, loneliness, or even depression following sexual engagement. Coping with PCD can be challenging and there is no established cure for this condition.
In essence, PCD entails a sense of dissatisfaction or discontent that persists post-sex. Various factors can contribute to its onset, such as anxiety or negative thought patterns related to sexual experiences. In certain cases, PCD may be linked to a history of sexual abuse.
While there is currently no definitive cure for PCD, several approaches can enhance the overall quality of life for those affected by it. This article is above delving deeper, to understand this phenomenon, and explore strategies that can potentially contribute to an improved quality of life.
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POSTCOITAL DYSPHORIA
UNRAVELING THE EMOTIONS
Postcoital Dysphoria Sex Blues
PCD is also known as post-coital tristesse,” describes the experience of negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, or irritability, following sexual activity. While society often associates post-sex emotions with a sense of euphoria and contentment, this phenomenon highlights the diversity of human responses.
Studies have revealed a higher prevalence of this condition in women—approximately 32% of women encounter it at some point in their lives, with around 7% experiencing it regularly—it’s important to note that research on postcoital dysphoria (PCD) in men is relatively scarce compared to women. This limited study focus on men might contribute to the observed disparities between genders.
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WHAT CAUSES POSTCOITAL DYSPHORIA?
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People who experience postcoital dysphoria may undergo a wide array of emotions. The distinguishing feature is that these emotions are predominantly negative and arise immediately following an otherwise positive and consensual sexual encounter.
WHAT DOES POSTCOITAL DYSPHORIA FEEL LIKE?
- Feelings of sadness or depression, often accompanied by crying
- Irritation experienced after sexual activity
- Moments of anxiety or panic post-sex
- Sensations of agitation and anger following sex
- Confusion and a sense of shame in response to these challenging emotions
- Self-blame for the negative emotional reaction towards sex
- A feeling of exhaustion and emotional depletion
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MANAGING POSTCOITAL DYSPHORIA
Postcoital Dysphoria Sex Blues
If you find yourself grappling with postcoital dysphoria (PCD), it’s essential to know that there are strategies available to help you navigate and cope with these challenging emotions. While PCD can be distressing, there are steps you can take to manage and improve your emotional well-being after sexual activity. Here are some suggestions:
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CONNECTING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS
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Connecting with your emotions regarding postcoital dysphoria (PCD) involves approaching your feelings with understanding and self-compassion.
Begin by recognizing and labeling the emotions you experience after intimacy, such as sadness or discomfort. Accept that your feelings are valid and natural, without self-judgment. Treat yourself with kindness and practice mindfulness to observe your emotions without trying to change them.
Consider journaling to gain insights into your experiences, triggers, and patterns. Seek support from trusted individuals or professionals who can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings. Pay attention to your body’s responses, explore triggers, and find healthy ways to express your emotions. Implement self-care practices and consider setting boundaries with your partner if certain situations contribute to your emotions.
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SEEKING PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT
Postcoital Dysphoria Sex Blues
If your feelings are overwhelming, seeking guidance from a therapist specializing in sexual health and emotional well-being can be beneficial and supportive.
I highly recommend researching on Google for a Certified Sexologial Bodywork also known as a Somatic Sexologist. Sexological Bodyworkers are trained professionals who specialize in supporting individuals and couples in exploring and enhancing their sexual well-being and intimate experiences. They work within a holistic and client-centered approach, aiming to create a safe and non-judgmental space for people to explore their sexuality, address concerns, and learn about their bodies.
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COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR PARTNER
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Discussing postcoital dysphoria (PCD) with your partner requires a foundation of understanding, empathy, and open communication. It’s important to approach this sensitive topic together in a thoughtful and considerate manner.
Begin by choosing the right time and place for this conversation. Find a comfortable and private space where both of you can openly share your thoughts and feelings without any distractions or interruptions.
Prior to initiating the conversation, take the time to educate yourself about PCD. Understand the causes and effects of this condition so that you can explain your experiences more effectively to your partner.
When you start the discussion, be honest and open about your feelings. Share what PCD feels like for you and how it impacts you emotionally and physically after intimate moments.
Utilize “I” statements to express your emotions. This approach helps prevent assigning blame or making accusations. For instance, instead of saying “You make me feel this way,” convey “I’ve been experiencing these emotions after sex.”
Encourage active listening during the conversation. Create an atmosphere where your partner feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. Even if they don’t fully comprehend your experience initially, their willingness to listen is valuable.
Offer resources such as articles, research, or information about PCD to help your partner gain a better understanding of the condition. This can facilitate more informed and constructive discussions.
Validate your partner’s emotions if they struggle to fully grasp your experience. Let them know that it’s okay and that your intention is to communicate and find solutions together.
Avoid placing pressure or blame on your partner. Clarify that PCD involves complex emotional and physical factors, and your purpose is to collaborate on managing it.
Explore potential solutions collaboratively. Brainstorm ideas for navigating PCD, such as engaging in different post-sex activities, practicing relaxation techniques, or considering professional assistance if necessary.
If your partner is finding it challenging to understand or provide support, consider involving a therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual health and relationships.
Maintain ongoing open communication about PCD as it might be a recurring experience. Sharing your progress, setbacks, and changes in your feelings will strengthen your relationship.
Approach the topic of PCD with sensitivity and a commitment to working together. By doing so, you can navigate postcoital dysphoria as a couple and build a deeper understanding and a closer relationship.
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SELF-CARE AFTER SEX
Postcoital Dysphoria Sex Blues
Practicing Self-Care After Sex can be a helpful way to alleviate the intensity of your emotions. You partner may even like to join you. Here are some self-care ideas:
- Connect with Your Partner: If desired, have a conversation with your partner to share your feelings and strengthen your emotional connection.
- Relaxing Bath: Enjoy a soothing warm bath to unwind and relax your body.
- Massage: Consider getting or giving a gentle massage to release tension and promote relaxation.
- Deep Breathing: Engage in deep breathing exercises to relax and calm your mind.
- Mindfulness Meditation: Practice mindfulness meditation to center yourself and cultivate a sense of calm.
- Music: Listen to your favorite music to uplift your mood and create a calming ambiance.
- Aromatherapy: Use essential oils to create a pleasant and calming environment.
- Watch a Comforting Movie: Enjoy a movie or show that brings you joy and relaxation.
- Hydrate: Drinking water can help rehydrate your body and promote overall well-being.
- Comforting Blanket: Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket, creating a sense of comfort and security.
- Warm Tea: Sipping on warm herbal tea can be soothing and comforting.
- Practice Gratitude: Take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of the experience.
- Stretching: Gentle stretching can help alleviate any muscle tension and promote relaxation.
- Journaling: Reflect on your feelings and emotions by jotting down your thoughts in a journal.
- Reading: Distract your mind by diving into a good book or engaging reading material.
- Engage in a Creative Activity: Explore a creative outlet such as drawing, painting, or writing to express yourself.
- Physical Comfort: Ensure you’re physically comfortable by adjusting your clothing or bedding.
- Conscious Rest: Allow yourself to rest and relax without distractions, focusing on self-care.
Remember that self-care is about listening to your needs and finding activities that bring you comfort, relaxation, and emotional well-being after intimacy and sex.
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CONSENT AND BOUNDARIES
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Do consider discussing and establishing boundaries with your partner. This is a fundamental aspect of cultivating a healthy and respectful sexual relationship. Acknowledging and communicating your personal boundaries is crucial to ensure your emotional safety and well-being especially when grappling with PCD.
Engage in open and honest conversations with your partner about your boundaries. Discussing your feelings, needs, and limits creates a safe space for both partners to express themselves without judgment.
Respecting each other’s boundaries builds a solid and bonded sexual relationship. If a partner expresses discomfort or reluctance about a particular activity, the other partner should immediately honor that boundary without question.
Consent should be freely given, informed, and ongoing, even during sex. It’s essential that neither partner feels pressured or coerced into any activity they are not comfortable with.
During any sexual encounter, consider implementing consent check-ins to ensure that both partners are still comfortable and willing to continue. These check-ins combined with your personal boundaries and consent my be very helpful when one suffers from PCD.
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BE KIND TO YOURSELF
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If you find yourself grappling with postcoital dysphoria, remember that you’re not alone in experiencing these emotions, and you’re certainly not abnormal for having them. Many individuals encounter the complexities of postcoital dysphoria at some point in their lives. What truly matters is your commitment to cultivating a respectful and compassionate relationship with yourself and your partner.
Embracing open communication, setting and respecting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care can pave the way for a more understanding and supportive connection. By acknowledging and addressing these feelings, you’re taking a crucial step toward creating a safe and fulfilling sexual space where both partners can navigate the intricacies of post-sex emotions together.
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Written by Aleena Aspley on 12th March 2024. Aleena is a Certifed Sexological Bodyworker / Somatic Sexologist & NEO Tantra Intimacy Coach. Aleena’s bodywork studio is located in North Brisbane and is by appointment only.
Bodywork Directory — AleenaAspley.com
Women — YoniWhisperer.com.au
Men — LingamWhisperer.com.au
Couples — TantricWhisperer.com
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Postcoital Dysphoria — Got The Sex Blues
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PERFORMANCE ANXIETY — How is Effects People of all Genders in the Bedroom
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